“Kya hua ek baat par, barson ka yaarana gaya.
Is bahane doston ka pyar toh pehchana gaya.”
“Hey! where are you these days dude? Long time no see? What are you up to?” I managed to ask Harry as I stopped at the corner of a nearby park, trying to gasp for breath.
Resuming jogging after a long time had already started to take its toll on me. Having spotted Harry sitting at the bench from the other side of the park, I had navigated my way through the now swelling crowd of morning joggers.
“Are all these people really health conscious or has jogging become just another fashion?” I fired my fourth question in a row without expecting any answer in particular, as my eyes were busy scanning the irresistible sweat-dipped figures that were flaunted all across the park.
Harry looked at me and smiled, and as my eyes met his, I immediately sensed trouble in paradise. There was something amiss. I had never seen him sitting alone engrossed in such deep thoughts. Even his smile, which otherwise came spontaneously, was tainted. Knowing Harry, I was sure; the matter had to be all but serious.
“Hey, is everything all right? What’s the matter man?" I sat next to him forcing my mind out of the attractive views all around.
It usually takes our man a while to open up, so I was ready for a silent pause.
“I had a fight with Radha.” He anticipated one obvious question coming up and tackled it right there, “Radha is my executive MBA class mate and we are good friends. Couple of day back we had an argument and we are no more in talking terms.”
“Don’t tell me you are sad because of that. Not for the first time have you had an argument with a friend. I am sure you know how to handle it. You are not a kid anymore buddy.” I said.
“I wish I knew how to handle this one. The other day she was late for the class and was casually mentioning how she had over-slept the night before. To which I had remarked in a lighter vain that this is quite expected as she had spent a long time talking over phone till late night on the pervious night.”
“Go on. I’m listening.”
“Having said that, I had even forgotton completely. But next time when I tried talking to her, she refused to reciprocate, saying I had hurt her by mentioning about her talking over phone. That she was speaking to her ailing mother, who stays alone, and in any case I had no rights to comment on her private life.” Harry continued, “I immediately apologized and explained her that it was supposed to be a joke and I never meant to hurt her. I didn’t know who she was talking to; neither did I want to. I had just tried calling her for an assignment where I needed to discuss a point with her and that’s how I came to know that her phone was busy.”
“So what does she say?”
“Nothing. She doesn’t pick my phone, doesn’t even reply to my sms. I have tried saying sorry several times, but still no response. I wanted to communicate to her that even I was upset with her when she mentioned that I had no rights. Where does the question of right arise man? Even if I had any rights, would I have made fun of her for speaking to whosoever she does, leave alone her mother? And how on earth would I know who she was talking to? How does it matter anyways? All I had said was she had a reason to feel sleepy.”
“You have said sorry to her, right? “ I asked as if I was a relationship expert.
“Many times man. I have tried to make myself clear. Also, I have tried to let her know I didn’t feel it was right on her part too to have mentioned about my rights. It sounded as if I was deliberately invading into somebody’s privacy, which was not the case at all. I really feel irritated as I am not sure if I have made my point get across, due to the lack of communication.”
“Why are you bothered? In my opinion, you have done whatever you could. Leave it right there.” I advised, “Since how long have you people known each other?”
“Must have been a couple of months. Since the day I’ve joined these classes.”
“Which means, you can’t claim to have known her all that well. You see, there are different types of people. Knowing you, I can understand why you feel so disturbed. You are a simple guy and want to keep things simple. You don’t like tension in the air whenever you come face to face with her next time. That’s why you wanted to iron things out.” I was now sounding like a astrologer to whom people come with trouble and he talks them through all their problems as if he is the designer of this whole universe.
“I know you Harry; you don’t have an ego as such, when it comes to handling people. But from whatever I hear, I can’t say the same about Radha.”
“But what does this silence mean? Am I missing something here?”
“You don’t really have to bother about that.” I replied.
“I can’t comment about Radha, since I don’t know her, but I know a couple of my friends who are real egoists. They believe, if they ignore while somebody keeps trying communicating with them, they gain a upper hand. They call it The art of maintaining a dignified silence. Whereas in reality, it is pure escapism. These kinds of people, generally attach high importance to themselves. They are unbelievably self-centered and they can see only one point of view, either their own, or of somebody else’s if it is similar to their own.”
I continued, “They would normally imagine things that they would like to believe and then go on to assume that their friends or people they know can’t have a different opinion. They would never accept that they can go wrong at times.”
“It is highly difficult to explain them, as they love their pre-conceived notion too much to part with it in order to accept reality. It’s always better to leave them with their own idea.”
Harry was attentive. “But I still have a doubt if Radha belongs to this category. Of course, I have noticed a couple of these traits in her but then we all have a bit of that.”
“We sure do.” I said. “But in different degrees. Trouble starts only when there is a mis-match in the proportion. Take yourself for that matter. You always take yourself too lightly, which is wrong. These people in our discussion take themselves too seriously which is again wrong.” I myself was surprised at my new found ability of preaching. Easy it was boy; why else would you find so many of them all over the place?
“So you just forget it, dude. It’s not wise to waste time over people who don’t deserve our whole hearted attention or care. You have better things to do. Anyways, its gonna make absolutely no difference to either of you if you don’t interact with each other. Why bother then?”
Harry said thoughtfully, “I understand what you mean. But its hard for me to associate negative thoughts with Radha. I mean, I cared for her man! I still do. Amidst all these war of words, I still get worried if she is all right, if she is taking care of herself, if she's had her food and things like that. She's crazy man! She feels she can take on the entire world on her own, but in reality she is well capable of landing herself in trouble every single moment. That keeps worrying me and I have never really needed anybody's permission to care for my friends all my life. The more I miss her crazy ways of doing things, the more it disturbs me and the tougher my words get, the whole idea being to make her react in good, bad, ugly whatever manner. I just want her to open up. I even told her she has lost the respect that she had in my eyes by acting snooty. But I am not sure if what all I said are true.”
“But then one thing for sure, if your opinion holds good for her, then she doesn’t deserve all this concern, in which case I would move on happily. It would take me not more than a second to forget everything, but how do I make sure?” The confusion seemed to be still there.
“Look Harry! You don’t have a choice. And because you don't have a choice of your own, you have to believe in what I say. See man! The logic is simple. You know you have done your bit. Even then if the desired result doesn’t follow, you take the next option. Which is what we just discussed.” I explained.
Harry thought for a moment, took a deep breath and said, “You are absolutely right buddy. Right here, right now I’m out of all this for ever. Thanks a lot for listening to me.” He started walking back slowly, but I could see his now assured steps towards a new dawn. I was convinced that he would forget about it completely as soon as he realized that no body under the sun deserves so much of his attention other than his own people.
The morning was getting warmer. It was time to leave. The park was quite empty now. As I got up, I heard a voice, “Hi”. I turned back to see a pretty face. “Can you please help me……….”
“Sure.” I almost screamed even before I could hear what she wanted me to do.
Is bahane doston ka pyar toh pehchana gaya.”
“Hey! where are you these days dude? Long time no see? What are you up to?” I managed to ask Harry as I stopped at the corner of a nearby park, trying to gasp for breath.
Resuming jogging after a long time had already started to take its toll on me. Having spotted Harry sitting at the bench from the other side of the park, I had navigated my way through the now swelling crowd of morning joggers.
“Are all these people really health conscious or has jogging become just another fashion?” I fired my fourth question in a row without expecting any answer in particular, as my eyes were busy scanning the irresistible sweat-dipped figures that were flaunted all across the park.
Harry looked at me and smiled, and as my eyes met his, I immediately sensed trouble in paradise. There was something amiss. I had never seen him sitting alone engrossed in such deep thoughts. Even his smile, which otherwise came spontaneously, was tainted. Knowing Harry, I was sure; the matter had to be all but serious.
“Hey, is everything all right? What’s the matter man?" I sat next to him forcing my mind out of the attractive views all around.
It usually takes our man a while to open up, so I was ready for a silent pause.
“I had a fight with Radha.” He anticipated one obvious question coming up and tackled it right there, “Radha is my executive MBA class mate and we are good friends. Couple of day back we had an argument and we are no more in talking terms.”
“Don’t tell me you are sad because of that. Not for the first time have you had an argument with a friend. I am sure you know how to handle it. You are not a kid anymore buddy.” I said.
“I wish I knew how to handle this one. The other day she was late for the class and was casually mentioning how she had over-slept the night before. To which I had remarked in a lighter vain that this is quite expected as she had spent a long time talking over phone till late night on the pervious night.”
“Go on. I’m listening.”
“Having said that, I had even forgotton completely. But next time when I tried talking to her, she refused to reciprocate, saying I had hurt her by mentioning about her talking over phone. That she was speaking to her ailing mother, who stays alone, and in any case I had no rights to comment on her private life.” Harry continued, “I immediately apologized and explained her that it was supposed to be a joke and I never meant to hurt her. I didn’t know who she was talking to; neither did I want to. I had just tried calling her for an assignment where I needed to discuss a point with her and that’s how I came to know that her phone was busy.”
“So what does she say?”
“Nothing. She doesn’t pick my phone, doesn’t even reply to my sms. I have tried saying sorry several times, but still no response. I wanted to communicate to her that even I was upset with her when she mentioned that I had no rights. Where does the question of right arise man? Even if I had any rights, would I have made fun of her for speaking to whosoever she does, leave alone her mother? And how on earth would I know who she was talking to? How does it matter anyways? All I had said was she had a reason to feel sleepy.”
“You have said sorry to her, right? “ I asked as if I was a relationship expert.
“Many times man. I have tried to make myself clear. Also, I have tried to let her know I didn’t feel it was right on her part too to have mentioned about my rights. It sounded as if I was deliberately invading into somebody’s privacy, which was not the case at all. I really feel irritated as I am not sure if I have made my point get across, due to the lack of communication.”
“Why are you bothered? In my opinion, you have done whatever you could. Leave it right there.” I advised, “Since how long have you people known each other?”
“Must have been a couple of months. Since the day I’ve joined these classes.”
“Which means, you can’t claim to have known her all that well. You see, there are different types of people. Knowing you, I can understand why you feel so disturbed. You are a simple guy and want to keep things simple. You don’t like tension in the air whenever you come face to face with her next time. That’s why you wanted to iron things out.” I was now sounding like a astrologer to whom people come with trouble and he talks them through all their problems as if he is the designer of this whole universe.
“I know you Harry; you don’t have an ego as such, when it comes to handling people. But from whatever I hear, I can’t say the same about Radha.”
“But what does this silence mean? Am I missing something here?”
“You don’t really have to bother about that.” I replied.
“I can’t comment about Radha, since I don’t know her, but I know a couple of my friends who are real egoists. They believe, if they ignore while somebody keeps trying communicating with them, they gain a upper hand. They call it The art of maintaining a dignified silence. Whereas in reality, it is pure escapism. These kinds of people, generally attach high importance to themselves. They are unbelievably self-centered and they can see only one point of view, either their own, or of somebody else’s if it is similar to their own.”
I continued, “They would normally imagine things that they would like to believe and then go on to assume that their friends or people they know can’t have a different opinion. They would never accept that they can go wrong at times.”
“It is highly difficult to explain them, as they love their pre-conceived notion too much to part with it in order to accept reality. It’s always better to leave them with their own idea.”
Harry was attentive. “But I still have a doubt if Radha belongs to this category. Of course, I have noticed a couple of these traits in her but then we all have a bit of that.”
“We sure do.” I said. “But in different degrees. Trouble starts only when there is a mis-match in the proportion. Take yourself for that matter. You always take yourself too lightly, which is wrong. These people in our discussion take themselves too seriously which is again wrong.” I myself was surprised at my new found ability of preaching. Easy it was boy; why else would you find so many of them all over the place?
“So you just forget it, dude. It’s not wise to waste time over people who don’t deserve our whole hearted attention or care. You have better things to do. Anyways, its gonna make absolutely no difference to either of you if you don’t interact with each other. Why bother then?”
Harry said thoughtfully, “I understand what you mean. But its hard for me to associate negative thoughts with Radha. I mean, I cared for her man! I still do. Amidst all these war of words, I still get worried if she is all right, if she is taking care of herself, if she's had her food and things like that. She's crazy man! She feels she can take on the entire world on her own, but in reality she is well capable of landing herself in trouble every single moment. That keeps worrying me and I have never really needed anybody's permission to care for my friends all my life. The more I miss her crazy ways of doing things, the more it disturbs me and the tougher my words get, the whole idea being to make her react in good, bad, ugly whatever manner. I just want her to open up. I even told her she has lost the respect that she had in my eyes by acting snooty. But I am not sure if what all I said are true.”
“But then one thing for sure, if your opinion holds good for her, then she doesn’t deserve all this concern, in which case I would move on happily. It would take me not more than a second to forget everything, but how do I make sure?” The confusion seemed to be still there.
“Look Harry! You don’t have a choice. And because you don't have a choice of your own, you have to believe in what I say. See man! The logic is simple. You know you have done your bit. Even then if the desired result doesn’t follow, you take the next option. Which is what we just discussed.” I explained.
Harry thought for a moment, took a deep breath and said, “You are absolutely right buddy. Right here, right now I’m out of all this for ever. Thanks a lot for listening to me.” He started walking back slowly, but I could see his now assured steps towards a new dawn. I was convinced that he would forget about it completely as soon as he realized that no body under the sun deserves so much of his attention other than his own people.
The morning was getting warmer. It was time to leave. The park was quite empty now. As I got up, I heard a voice, “Hi”. I turned back to see a pretty face. “Can you please help me……….”
“Sure.” I almost screamed even before I could hear what she wanted me to do.
